You will survive. And as hard as it is to believe this, you will be happy again. I found it hard to let go of the pain, when it was all I had left of my parents (who were killed in a house fire), when it was all I had left of my first boyfriend who was killed in a motor vehicle accident, and when it was all I had left of my first child who died shortly after he was born. I came to believe that I would best honor them by embracing life, not by living in the shadow of their death. And with time, and doing my grief work, I healed, and became as happy, actually even happier, than I was before my losses. You may find a way to make your loss meaningful; there are many who have resolved not to let their loved one, or dream, or situation die in vain. 

We cannot avoid our feelings; we need to do our grief work. Time alone helps, but does not heal. You can’t go around it, you can’t ignore it, you have to square off with your pain and go through it. I coped with the sudden death of my parents, and my first boyfriend, by trying to outrun my feelings for years. I learned my lesson by the time my son died, and I squared off with my grief as soon as I was able. Trust me; it is much, much easier to work through your pain and your grief.

Know this: grief recovery is a process with a beginning, middle, and end. It feels endless, but it is not. You won’t be stuck in it forever as long as you commit to traveling through it, work at it, and have the support you need to do your work.

We absolutely need the support of others as we work through our grief. Seek out friends who will hear your pain without advising you. (You might need to explicitly tell them you just want to talk; you do not want advice. When we see people who are hurting, it is very difficult not to try to fix it with our words. Your friends will do this out of their love, and will most likely say hurtful things in the process. It is a hard time to train them to be with a grieving friend, but try to briefly tell them you just need someone to listen. You might also give them my article on "How to support a grieving loved one"). Seek out support groups. A grief counselor or therapist is an excellent idea and one I highly recommend if you are working through a loss. Interview several first to find a good fit, and get a recommendation if you can. As an adjunct to face-to-face support, you will also find helpful resources online in grief chat rooms and bulletin boards. Be cautious of making these resources the mainstay of your support network, though. People really do care, and it is very difficult to heal alone.

Grief work is hard work, and it can be long work. If you’ve suffered a profound loss, and have been working through it for quite a bit of time, and your counselor (you do have one, don’t you?) feels you are making adequate progress, then pat yourself on the back for your courage and persistence. Don’t feel inadequate or guilty for feeling so bad for so long. In our culture we tend to think people should "get over it" in a matter of days. Other cultures respect, and expect, someone to deeply grieve a major loss for at least a year. Don’t let those who do not understand grief make you feel bad for taking so long to “get over it”. Note that you would have felt much worse had you not committed to doing your grief work.

Good self-care is very hard to maintain, and extremely important. Sleeping can be a challenge. Try your best to keep a regular sleep pattern, and to get adequate rest. Avoid sugar and caffeine. Eat regular, nutritious meals with adequate protein, fruits, and vegetables. Consider a good vitamin supplement. Of course, avoid medicating your feelings with alcohol, drugs, nicotine. Exercise will do amazing things for your physical and emotional well-being. Always check with your doctor before embarking on an exercise program. If you don't have a fitness program, and your doctor agrees that it is a good idea for you, then try to walk briskly for at least 20-30 minutes most days, or, at least 3 times a week. If you cannot manage that, do what you can. It is a natural antidepressant and stress relief aid.

Write letters to and about your lost loved one or your lost dream or your lost situation. Journal daily. This will do wonders both in clarifying your thoughts and also in relieving your emotional pain.

You may find it helpful and healing to externalize and memorialize your loss. I wrote a song for my son Nicholas, and performed it at a number of venues including the Indiana state fair. We gave charitable contributions in his name, especially involving sick or needy children. This may sound a bit morbid, but when I was grieving every Thursday because it was the day of his death, I wore a black item every Thursday. I continued this for a year after his death. It was like writing a "to-do" item in my planner; because I memorialized his death on that day it no longer took an active place in my mind. I doubt anyone noticed but it was useful for me. What can you do to externalize and memorialize your loss? 

If you have a spiritual practice, continue to gently engage in it. Prayer, medication, and devotional materials have helped some in their grief process. A community of like-minded believers may also be helpful (although they also may be guilty of trying to fix your situation with their words in order to make God right. Know that their intentions are probably loving even though their anxiety is making them say terrible things).